A number of years ago, I was at Mass, and in his homily, the priest criticized women for wearing gold crosses. I felt a flush of heat spread across my cheeks, suddenly aware of the gold cross around my neck. All of a sudden, it somehow felt shameful.
What he didn’t know was that my agnostic husband had bought me that cross as a gift, and I was deeply moved that he, as a nonbeliever, could still be so beautifully supportive of my deep faith. That cross had great meaning for me. It was not jewelry.
Recently, I found myself getting rather upset as I stood watching someone wearing a very similar cross who was boldly lying through her teeth. I wanted to shout at her: You’re wearing a cross! Don’t you remember the part of the Ten Commandments that talks about bearing false witness?!? But I restrained myself – with difficulty.
After I cooled off, I took a minute to look at myself. What does it mean that I walk around every day wearing my cross, and through this item declare to the world what I believe? And what does that mean in terms of my behavior, if I’m suddenly unloving or the antithesis of peaceful?
The inherent challenge of proclaiming my faith brought to mind two of my dear Muslim sister friends who wear the hijab. Every day, their attire makes clear the religious beliefs they stand for. And they wear it in a culture in which it is so often misunderstood and even vilified.
Years ago, another homily by another priest asked us this question: If someone came to your home, would they know what you believe in? Does anything in your home proclaim your faith in Jesus and perhaps even your connection to the Catholic tradition? I realized there was nothing in our home, at that point, that was a sign of the faith in which we were raising our children (yes, that agnostic spouse was raised Catholic and is an amazing partner in our parenting journey).
My response started with a simple cross over our kitchen table. It was later joined by a statue of the Blessed Mother in my bedroom and a quote from St. Ignatius in a frame.* Later, when I visited my Aunt Rose and Uncle Joe in Ireland – whose home is filled with pictures, prayers, icons and statues – I realized I had barely made a start.
After my episode with the lying cross-wearer, I started looking at my own behavior. How well was I living up to that declaration around my neck? I decided to wear it like an internal challenge. In fact, I found myself pulling out three other gold items to add to the chain: the cross from my first Communion, a gift from my godmother, my Aunt Sis, reminding me of the place of the Eucharist at the heart of my life; my Miraculous Medal of the Blessed Mother from my Confirmation, also from Aunt Sis, reminding me of the compassionate, visionary, resilient woman Mary, the mother of Jesus; and my St. Benedict medal, reminding me of my Benedictine seminary education at St. John’s, and the values that came with it – prayer, stability, hospitality, care of creation, love of Christ and neighbor.
Perhaps you, too, can reflect on how your home and your very being show the world your values and who you are committed to being. Perhaps you can pull out the Star of David given to you at your bat mitzvah. Or the symbol representing the sacred sound of Om if you are Hindu. The taijitu, representing yin and yang, if you are Buddhist. Or your cross. Or a tree of life. Or put on your hijab with added grace. Whatever speaks to you and for you.
In today’s contentious world, we need more reminders of our values, and more ways to stay conscious of them, wherever we are found.
*“Work like it all depends on you. Pray like it all depends on God.” Attributed to St. Augustine and promoted widely by St. Ignatius Loyola, founder of the Jesuit order of Roman Catholic priests.
Editor’s note: This column was written by the Rev. Trish Sullivan Vanni, Ph.D., pastoral director and priest of the Charis Ecumenical Catholic Community in Eden Prairie.
Interested in contributing a faith-based column to EPLN? Email editor@eplocalnews.org.
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