Close Menu
Eden Prairie Local News
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
    Wednesday, May 21
    • About
      • About EPLN
      • Team
      • EPLN in the News
      • Policies
    • Contact
    Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram Threads LinkedIn
    Subscribe
    Eden Prairie Local News
    • Home
    • Schools
    • Business
    • Sports
    • Public Safety
    • City
    • Calendar
    • Subscribe
    • Donate
    • More
      • Construction
      • Outdoors
      • Politics
      • Health
      • Spirituality
      • Community Service
      • Legacy
      • Obituaries
      • Arts
      • Family
      • Holidays
      • Letter to Editor
      • Listen
      • Jobs
    Eden Prairie Local News
    Home»Health»From doubt to discovery: Taking the first step toward ketamine therapy
    Health

    From doubt to discovery: Taking the first step toward ketamine therapy

    Rachel EngstromBy Rachel EngstromApril 21, 2025Updated:April 27, 20257 Mins Read
    Graphic showing a heart inside a lightbulb

    Editor’s note: This is the first installment in “From doubt to discovery,” a six-part series chronicling one woman’s journey through ketamine-assisted psychotherapy.


    I was skeptical. When my good friend told me she was trying ketamine therapy, my immediate thought was, “Why not just try traditional antidepressants first?” It didn’t make sense to me – until it did.

    As a 40-year-old woman with brown eyes, I primarily identify as Caucasian, and most people would see me as white. However, I’m deeply proud of my Native American (Choctaw) and Mexican heritage. While these roots are central to who I am, my appearance doesn’t reflect them. Because of this, I’ve been aware of my white privilege since childhood. It’s an important part of who I am, and it affects how I move through the world.

    My parents married young – my mom was 19 and my dad was 20 – and they didn’t have me until several years later. I grew up as an only child in Blaine, until I was 6. My father served as a pastor at an Assembly of God church in Columbia Heights, while my mother worked a 9-to-5 job in sales and management.

    Advertisement
    Ad for Washburn McReavy

    With both of them working, I spent a lot of time at home with my dad as he juggled his responsibilities – preparing weekly sermons, developing lectures for his students as a professor, and working on his doctorate in theology. Two days a week, I stayed with one of my two grandmothers, giving my dad time to handle church duties like counseling sessions and other tasks that required his presence. While my grandfathers were around, it was my grandmothers who primarily cared for me.

    My mom was a supportive pastor’s wife who not only taught me how to present myself as a “good little girl” but also showed me the importance of balancing work, family and community. She made the perfect pastor’s wife because she embraced her role in the church with warmth and connected easily with others, leaving a lasting impression. From watching her, I learned how important it is to be adaptable and compassionate.

    My dad grew up in a strict, militant household in the 1960s, but he worked hard to create a warmer, more nurturing environment for me. Every morning, without fail, he would wake me up with a song. Looking back, I see how much love and energy that took. No matter his mood or the challenges of the day, he’d open the blinds, smile, and sing a cheerful tune. At the time, I didn’t appreciate it, but now I recognize it as one of the many ways he showed his love.

    He was incredibly intelligent and studied multiple languages – Spanish, French, German, Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic – so that he could read the Bible in its original form, without relying on translations. I once asked for a pencil, and he told me we didn’t have any, adding, “Pencils are for people who make mistakes.” It was a joke, but it left a lasting impression.

    In 1987, I brought the smiles, and my dad brought the wisdom as he earned his Master of Arts in theology from Bethel University. Photo courtesy of Rachel Engstrom
    Rachel Engstrom smiles with her father in 1987, the year he earned his master’s degree in theology from Bethel University. Photo courtesy of Rachel Engstrom

    Early struggles with mental health

    By the time I reached my teens, I was already grappling with depression and anxiety – struggles that only deepened with time. My Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) score is 6, reflecting multiple challenges during my formative years. The ACE score measures childhood trauma based on experiences like neglect, abuse, and household dysfunction. Research shows that higher scores are linked to long-term impacts on mental and physical health.

    Over my lifetime, I’ve suffered from agoraphobia, double depression, social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, substance use disorder, fibromyalgia, bulimia nervosa, PTSD, and complex PTSD. In 2018, my dad passed away unexpectedly at 60. His death was a profound loss, adding another layer to my ongoing mental health journey.

    In my late 20s, I began struggling with alcohol dependency, using it as a coping mechanism to manage the overwhelming weight of my mental health challenges. Four years ago, I made the life-changing decision to quit drinking. That milestone marked a turning point in my recovery and set the stage for exploring deeper healing through treatments like ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (KAP).

    Why ketamine?

    For years, I was cautious about trying new treatments beyond medications and traditional therapy. When I first scheduled an appointment to learn about KAP, my plan was simply to meet with a therapist and possibly consider starting the treatment in 2025.

    My good friend had undergone ketamine therapy. While I was initially skeptical – encouraging her to try traditional antidepressants first – her experience piqued my curiosity.

    Ketamine therapy has emerged as a promising option for individuals with treatment-resistant depression, cases where traditional antidepressants have proven ineffective. According to Time magazine, “An estimated 5 million people in the U.S. suffer from treatment-resistant depression, prompting a rise in private ketamine clinics run by psychiatrists or anesthesiologists across the country.”

    However, it’s important to remember that ketamine therapy comes with risks. The recent passing of actor Matthew Perry in October 2023 underscored some of these dangers. Perry had been undergoing KAP to manage anxiety. Tragically, his treatment involved high doses administered at home without direct medical supervision, which contributed to his untimely death. His story highlights how essential it is to receive professional guidance and adhere strictly to treatment protocols.

    Acknowledging privilege in treatment

    While this series reflects my personal journey, I want to acknowledge the privilege that has allowed me to explore KAP. Access to quality healthcare, resources for self-care, and the financial stability to pursue treatments like this are privileges I do not take lightly.

    As I continue this journey, I’m realizing that KAP is more than just a treatment – it’s about shifting perspectives and challenging ingrained ways of thinking. Though the journey isn’t over, each step brings me closer to understanding how this therapy can profoundly impact my mental health.

    Next week: Preparing for my first ketamine session.

    Key insights from Rachel Engstrom’s decision to begin KAP

    • Driving anxiety: Pre-KAP, driving stress was consistently high (8–10), showing frequent emotional reactivity behind the wheel.
    • Shoulder pain: Persistent shoulder pain remained at a 10 on a 10-point scale prior to beginning therapy.
    • Gratitude as a tool: Early insights revealed how practicing gratitude – such as thinking of her nephew Walker – could help anchor emotions.

    Goal updates

    • Reduce reactivity: Began identifying emotional triggers and understanding patterns of aggressive or defensive reactions.
    • Address cognitive distortions: Gained early awareness of patterns – like all-or-nothing thinking – that shaped self-perception and emotional cycles.
    • Self-advocacy: Took first steps toward expressing needs more clearly in therapy and recognizing the importance of vulnerability in healing.

    From doubt to discovery: Part 1

    Swirling colors inside head silhouette with door

    This is the first installment in a six-part series chronicling Rachel Engstrom’s journey through ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (KAP). A new installment will be published weekly over the next six weeks. In this piece, she explores what led her to KAP, how she found the courage to begin, and the personal revelations that sparked a life-changing path toward healing.

    Upcoming installments in the series will cover her emotional and logistical preparation for treatment; the experience and insights gained during her first KAP session; the ways that session influenced her healing and reflection while traveling abroad; the lessons learned during subsequent sessions, including moments of clarity and growth; and her reflections on long-term healing and what comes next.

    Editor’s note:

    Ketamine is a dissociative anesthetic that has been used in medical settings for decades. In recent years, it has gained attention as a treatment option for depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder under clinical supervision. While early studies point to its potential for people with treatment-resistant mental health conditions, ketamine therapy remains a developing field, with ongoing questions about long-term outcomes and equitable access. The death of actor Matthew Perry in 2023, following unsupervised ketamine use, brought renewed attention to the risks of at-home treatment and the need for medical oversight. This series reflects one person’s experience and is not intended as medical advice.

    Comments
    We offer several ways for our readers to provide feedback. Your comments are welcome on our social media posts (Facebook, X, Instagram, Threads, and LinkedIn). We also encourage Letters to the Editor; submission guidelines can be found on our Contact Us page. If you believe this story has an error or you would like to get in touch with the author, please connect with us.

    Be Informed
    Sign up for the FREE email newsletter from EPLN
    Subscribe
    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Previous ArticleNominees sought for Minnesota State Fair 50 Year Award
    Next Article Eden Prairie High School Drama presents ‘The Nerd’ April 24–26

    More to READ

    7 Mins Read

    The power of the pause – and saying no

    May 19, 2025
    8 Mins Read

    Minnesota Medicaid explained: Who’s on it, how much it costs, what could change

    May 14, 2025
    8 Mins Read

    Beyond the session: Trauma, triumphs and turning points

    May 12, 2025
    Subscribe to get EPLN in your inbox for FREE!
    Recent Articles

    EPHS synchronized swim team advances to state meet

    May 20, 2025

    Minnesota legislative session ends, still with a long to-do list

    May 20, 2025

    Former Eden Prairie man sentenced for posting nude images of woman online without her consent

    May 20, 2025

    May bike party undeterred by wind and cold

    May 20, 2025

    Walter Jerome ‘Jerry’ Dustrud

    May 20, 2025
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • LinkedIn
    INN Network Member Guidestar Seal
    Eden Prairie Local News is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization EIN 85-4248265 | Copyright © 2020-2025
    • About
    • Policies
    • Jobs
    • Contact
    • Advertising
    • Subscribe
    • Donate

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.